I'd like to cordially invite you to...

... join me in my weight-loss goal. Mr. Sam and I are working on becoming healthier and working out. So I'm going public. Everyday I'm going to post my exercise and food logs so that maybe I'll think a little bit harder about my choices and maybe you'll get the body you need by setting that there are other people out there trying and sometimes falling off the band wagon too. Yes, I'll publish my failures as well as my good days. I'm posting them all.

So jump in the band wagon and change your life a little and for those already partying on the fitness choo-choo, try something different (you might be surprised that you like moving things up).

You're invited!

Who: Anyone and everyone, but especially YOU!
When: Whenever you can squeeze it in
Where: The Fitness Train
Why: We all have someone we want to be healthier for; whether it's ourselves or a little hobbit who's taking a nap while I write this.
How: I'll be sharing our workouts as we go, feel free to steal ours or make your own-if you want some ideas here are my Pins or explore for yourself.

I'll see you back here later with my report!

I know.

Yesterday as I sat in my Sunday meetings I was compelled to speak and didn't. It seems like every 1st Sunday I feel the need to get up and bear my testimony that He lives, loves us, and understands more than we could ever imagine about where we are going and who we are and what we truly need; yet month after month I get nauseated by the thought of the long walk up the aisle of the Chapel and wearing my emotions on my sleeve for all to see - friends, family, strangers alike. Bearing my testimony is hard for me. Which is why in the past two years that we have been together my husband has never seen or heard me bear witness of the things I know and feel to be true. That is over 24 opportunities and promptings I have lost and suppressed. From moments of protection and gratitude, loss and comfort, to the joy of my beautiful daughter and the blessing she is - none of these have been expressed to those around me.

I want to create my own opportunity and share that with you now.

This past year has been full of emotions - I became violently ill while pregnant and was filled with the fear that we may be losing our baby. I prayed so fervently that she would be spared and safe. That I would be given the chance to meet her and care for her in this life. I wanted so badly to be her mom. We both came out of the operation safely and I got my baby girl I am so lucky and couldn't picture any day without her. She is truly what keeps me going and getting up each day.
However, a few months later - we had terrible loss in our family as my sister who was also pregnant, and due just 2 weeks after me, lost her baby girl, Caroline, at about 31 wks. My heart could not be more broken. I didn't know what to do, how to comfort, or what to say. Yet I was comforted. I was blessed.

One night as a new mother with PPD, unable to nurse or find joy in my baby.

I was blessed.

Our little hobbitty was up ALL night and my husband had finals in the morning; so I let him sleep

and I rocked and I sang as she cried and cried, refusing to eat (or anything else).

And I cried and cried as we rocked, out of ideas and out of energy.

Then I began to pray and I kept praying; I needed help. Any kind of help.

Then as clear as if my husband were saying it to me. I knew. That she was God's and that I was God's. I am loved. and that Christ's Atonement was for me. He understood how I felt

and would have done it for me alone in THAT moment as a hurting mother

with a crying baby just as much as He loved and would've done it for my sister who

was bearing a lot greater pain.

And I was crying again, but this time for all the right reasons, I knew that He is real

and that God's plan is real and that families are eternal.

 

I am depressed. It isn't something I have quite come to terms with but I am dealing with it and I am trying. Everything post-partum hit me 1,000,000 times harder than I imagined. I pictured motherhood as nursing and rocking and tummy time and snuggles. What I got was a uterine infection, extreme moods, a colicky baby, an apartment messier than ever, and a baby who refused to be swaddled and had to be held to sleep. Where it felt like the only thing she loved was her swing and the t.v. As hard as I tried nursing was not possible and in my eyes; I was a failure (for all struggling/new mothers ).

And amidst all this -  we moved over 1000 miles from everyone we know and love to a new land and a new life. But by following God's promptings we have been blessed with amazing people and opportunities. I love MI and am grateful we are here. I have been given chances to grow and feel the Lord's comfort ever more.

And tragedy came again. This last week Mr. Sam's sister; and a close, dear friend of mine, just lost her baby boy at 20 wks. This loss is particularly hard because we can't be there to spend time with family and help to comfort them in their loss. However, my testimony has again been strengthened. I know that families are blessed by God and that we will have a chance to be with these babies in the next life and that He can heal us. I love this gospel so much and am amazed by the strength of mothers and the peace the Atonement provides. This gospel is true and changes my life each day. I am strengthened and blessed by this knowledge and want to share it with all of you.

 

I don't know if this was helpful to any of you, but I feel so overwhelmed by the chance I have to share this gospel and feel His love. I wanted to share it and I wanted to feel it. Thank you for letting me bear testimony of the things I know.

 

“The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places.
But still there is much that is fair. And though in all lands, love is now
mingled with grief, it still grows, perhaps, the greater.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings



T-Bones

Once upon a time....

Saturday Mr. Sam and I spent the day with his sister and her family painting their new, cute house and building a wonderful new bathroom for the kids. And then had a little party for just the adults where I partook of my first T-Bone steak, it was delicious and juicy. Afterwards we decided to head back to the Shire so that they could prepare talks on gratitude to God in all things (for ex. - through tribulations) for church the next day.

On our late night journey home we were getting off the Provo Center St. exit and a beater old truck ran a red light (we saw it at the last minute and tried to swerve away) and then T-Boned us on the driver side just behind Mr. Sam. It sent us spinning and up onto the island. The paramedics came and took us to the hospital to observe me and our baby girl in my belly - we're both fine :D His sister and brother-in-law left their talks and came to rescue us; ending up waiting in the labor and delivery waiting room for a few hours and driving us home in the wee hours.

Today, my lovely sister took us to get our rental car (provided by our insurance; thank heaven) and I got to see the car for the first time. Here are some pictures:

 

 

We're awaiting the insurance's decision about our little car and the damages. But I want to look at the amazing blessings we were given this weekend and show the gratitude that we have been filled with through our tribulation.

 

The car immediately behind the truck was a Deputy Sheriff who witnessed the whole thing and flipped his lights on. There were many blessings from this; being late at night there is no guarantee that we could have found a reliable witness who could state that we were not the ones at fault, we had instant help (considering I'm 40 weeks pregnant), and the other driver was cited for the accident.

 

Neither of us were injured in any way. The baby is healthy and fine, she was protected by my belly and the amniotic fluid she is floating around in. And it is a blessing that all of these times where I hoped to be in labor and have our little angel that she stayed in my belly where she is most safe.

 

We've been so amazingly blessed with an out-pouring of love from family and offers to help. We couldn't be more grateful for how this has all worked out so far.  Even though we really wish it hadn't happened, it did and we know that we were being watched out for and that our Heavenly Father loves us and knows better than we do. He has a purpose in all things.

 

“It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.”   
- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings - 

Little Things For Our Little Hobbit

Sam and I are anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little hobbit to arrive. Doing some early spring cleaning to make room for everything baby before she arrives. And you know what I've noticed - baby clothes are TINY!

While everything else that is associated with babies are bulky from the car seat to the stroller to the rocking chair - these things take a lot of space and Bag End is not known for it's spacious rooms. So daily we ponder where in Middle Earth we are going to fit these big things in the apartment without looking altogether odd.

But in the end everything will find a place and every place will have a thing (at least one thing - literally) squeezed into it. So for now we are just preparing and the nesting effect is setting in as we are on the homeward stretch with just over 9 weeks left until our little bundle arrives. Until then I will be doing some big work on some little, little things for our baby Rosie. Blankets, diapers, and dresses all to be sewn and washed and folded; corners of the apartment to be scrubbed, dusted and reorganized. We hobbits tend to collect dust and trinkets here in our little hobbit hole (ok, it's just me - I'm a pack rat and now I've got to go through and dejunk before she gets here).

 

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

-J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring-

A Tall Tale from Small People

Here is a tall tale that is actually true.

Once upon a time, Saturday the 6th; to be exact, I was awoken before dawn by a pain in my stomach and thus began the longest day I'd experienced in a very long time. After proceeding to be ill for the next many hours we were surprised with a leak coming from the floor above us through our bedroom closet. After putting buckets under the drips, Mr. Sam then rushed off to take the LSAT.

While he was gone I continued to be sick and in a lot of pain. After 7+ hours of this I called our neighbor who had also had a very long day, after waking up to his apartment flooding he then spent hours with a plumber ripping apart his bathroom, but agreed to take me to the emergency room. I left a note for Mr. Sam who was still out providing for the family by taking the hardest test of his life. And rushed away.

Shortly after arriving at the ER I was placed in a room and soon joined by my lovingly devoted husband who had just finished his test. The doctors proceeded to run tests on my blood, I had an ultrasound, was given an X-ray, and then finally at 9 that evening I was submitted to an MRI. And after a very long day, in which I wasn't even allowed to drink and was administered almost every medicine available to a woman who is 18 weeks pregnant, I was diagnosed with appendicitis.

I went in for surgery at midnight and then after being placed in a room for recovery for the night my parents started on their drive home to Kaysville and my husband was left to fill out paperwork and finally got into bed around 2:30; almost 24 hours after we were first awakened.

The next day I was released from the hospital and returned home feeling far less than 100%.

If you think this story is over you are far from correct. Only 3 days later we were destined to return to the emergency room because of an allergic reaction I had to something used during the proceedure. I then blistered up and a rash spread over most of my abdomen. Now a week later my rash is improving and the blisters are gone and thanks to cream and plenty of benadryll I am itching less and feeling better all the time.

Sadly, I am not the biggest sufferer in this story. My poor Sam has been taking full care of me, working, going to class, preparing for midterms, doing the laundry, dishes, and all the cooking. But I couldn't be more grateful for him.

Unfortunately there isn't a quote by Tolkien about appendicitis so I'll share one about our exciting day tomorrow...we're scheduled for our ultrasound and we'll find out what we're having! :D

"The greatest adventure is what lies ahead.
Today and tomorrow are yet to be said.
The chances, the changes are all yours to make.
The mold of your life is in your hands to break." 

 

-J.R.R. Tolkien- 

Sam and Rosie sittin' in a tree; K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage then comes...

A BABY IN A BABY CARRIAGE!!!!!!!

Apologies to anyone who checks our blog (I feel really special that you do btw, very important and such) I haven't blogged in the last two months because I knew I wouldn't be able to keep any sort of important secret. Especially the secret that Mr. Hobbit and I are expecting! We couldn't be more thrilled.

For those of you in disbelieve or confusion. Yes, a baby. We are having a baby. The due date is March 12.

Yesterday at our first pre-natal appointment we had the great thrill of hearing our baby's heartbeat and knowing that indeed there really is a LITTLE HOBBIT IN MY BELLY! Mr. Sam is as giddy as could be.

There really isn't much more to say there at the moment except; did I mention we're having our first little baby? Oh, I did? Good, I was hoping I didn't forget anything.

As for the job search- I finally found one and we are both very relieved to be done with the interview process.

Mr. Sam is being the collegiate hobbit as always and is currently preparing to take the LSAT in October.

This post's quote is of encouragement for our new little Daddy to keep studying and not get discouraged.

"Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you *stand, Men of the West!"

-If you don't recognize it; you don't deserve to know who said it-

Did I mention we're having a baby?

Worked and Worked and Worked aaaand Worked

Our lives have been rolling on and on like the wagon wheels of the pioneer children; instead of walking and walking and walking aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand walking - we are WORKING!

Mr. Samwise has picked up his 3rd job with the beginning of Summer semester with the BYU OIT department and I couldn't be more grateful for everything he is doing for me and how diligent he is about providing for our family.

I had a job interview today and return tomorrow for a working interview where I will literally be in the office, learning on the job, and being put to the test. Here's to hoping it goes well.

But our jobs are not the only things we have been working at. I received my calling in our new family ward - I am the Primary Music Leader and about two weeks after I got called I was leading the kids in Sacrament Meeting for Father's Day and it was STRESSFUL! Don't get me wrong - those kids are extremely adorable and I love my calling, but it is work.

On top of it all - we wanted to finish the apartment - I wanted to decorate and Sam wanted to see the floor. So we compromised and he helped me with my projects including shelves, a table, and hanging of many items from my aprons to my mirror to my calendar. And then I followed suit when he motor boated through our back room and our apartment is so close to being done! I can't wait to post pictures and share our home.

Not everything in our lives is work however - we've had highs and we've had lows. The greatest high was when I caught my first fish and then the 3 after during an awesome FHE activity per request of Sam. The low has definitely the cold that I caught last week that has now transferred to my sweetheart.

On we go to healthier days and hopefully another job for Mrs. Rosie!

“The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring